Wisdom Teeth #2

Been going to sleep to hallucinations - commercials even interrupting.
Been slowly fading away with perfect paragraphs of prose - desperate to grab hold too tired to write it down.

Last night it started something like:
Turns an explosion in my intestines... (I realize now that sounds like diarrhea)

Then another started:
She is crying - she is looking, mad into my eyes and screaming "I miss you!"
She is wearing a corsage that someone else gave her.
She's not one who is prone to such a grand romantic gesture as having a really bad trip on ecstasy and spilling her heart all over the parking lot- but, what the hell - it's prom.

****
brain killing pain killers been wrecking my head

Wisdom Teeth

There is a sharp white pain in the back of my mouth - it slowly marches its way into my brain, and it may just be the drugs, but I'm feeling ok about the whole ordeal.

I saw you big and blasted in lights of fame and it made me feel a little nauseous.

With a dead language...

There's nothing much I can say.
There are boundless amounts of books, of words I could betray.
There are thousands of excuses
- abused excuse after excuse I could use to convince and confuse.
I could whine my whole life - spitting bloody "whys?"

But why?

My prayers are empty - infused with words like "Oh God, Please."
What does that mean?

Where can I invest in words that can be tasted - words that crawl under your skin.
I want words that defy their definition, their connotation, their history.
I want words that don't need to be uttered to be heard - they inherently course through our veins.
If we could find a language in which the encyclopedia sings - maybe someone would listen.

Let me know if you find something.

Narcissism

Narcissism describes the trait of excessive self-love, based on self-image or ego.

The term is derived from the Greek myth of Narcissus. Narcissus was a handsome Greek youth who rejected the desperate advances of the nymph Echo. As punishment, he was doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his love, Narcissus pined away and changed into the flower that bears his name, the narcissus.

In psychology and psychiatry, excessive narcissism is recognized as a severe personality dysfunction or personality disorder, most characteristically Narcissistic personality disorder, also referred to as NPD.

Sigmund Freud believed that some narcissism is an essential part of all of us from birth and was the first to use the term in the reference to psychology.^[1]

Andrew Morrison claims that, in adults, a reasonable amount of healthy narcissism allows the individual's perception of his needs to be balanced in relation to others.^[2]

The terms "narcissism", "narcissistic" and "narcissist" are often used as pejoratives, denoting vanity, conceit, egotism or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.