Menstruating

So right now – it’s possible I’m already dead.
And all I’ve left behind me are books half empty
pages lazily entered
maybe a date and a few first sentences of suicide notes.

I avoid sleep – I’m not sure why.

Before I woke up this morning to anxiously awaited blood on my sheets, I dreamed I had a baby girl; and I was so happy to tell all the nurses that my baby was wobbling and shaking because both of her mothers were dancers.
But I don’t have a lover – and I don't remember how to dance.
In retrospect I think the reason my baby was shaking was because she had no bones.
She had big curly hair and no bones.