When my conscience flips coin

Have you ever ridden on the back of an elephant?
I did once, in India.
They wore chains around their ankles.

They stood in a family -
two with a baby

and screamed

The men around them
fed them
bananas
and beat them with sticks,
shouting,

"no one will ever love you like I do!"

Now
As I sit at the table where we eat all our meals -
and talk to our selves
and lie to each other
And lie to ourselves
and talk to each other
and eat all our meals

I can only think in how many ways I've betrayed my science
and in how many ways I've loved you
And I can only think in how many ways I've said "never again"
and in how many ways I've love you

like when I rode the elephant
just to say I'd done it.