Vows. A commitment to Truth. The psychosis of relationship. Impermanance.

Turn to me. And pluck out eyes with eyes. I am just another who will die I know. But I want you to always be mine and with me in my bed, I want us to always be happy together. You wake up with dreams of a past lover and I go upstairs to make us breakfast forever. Peppermint and ginger are too sharp in the back of my throat when put into the same glass at the same time. You write songs you leave on your piano I read when you’re not around. I can’t read the books I want to when I want you on my neck. I can’t read the books I need to read when you are on my neck. The internet isn’t working. All the furniture in the place where I keep my stuff is gone. I sleep on a hard floor if you don’t call me in fifteen minutes. I make rules to make sure I’m not ruled by something like my want to be with you. Time is only sacred when I light candles and turn on music. A bath and salts. When I pretend to enjoy being lonely. I think about all the manipulative things I could say to you. The internet isn’t working. Who am I next to her? Asian women are a threat from now on – an entire race able to take you away. I am just books and bad credit. I am just twenty-three, and sweet. I am just white and soft and young right now. After I give birth to your children, I hope you know. That every woman grows old. Our children will have blue eyes and dirty blond hair. Have you seen my mother? You didn’t’ like me in the house where I grew up. You don’t like me when I’m sick or sad. You don’t like me every other month. Our cards read schizophrenic. You love me yesterday. OK. Well. Goodnight. I love you. You call me by my first name like it is a name you’ve given me out of your fondness. When you write songs about love, you say “you” but who are you referring to? Cause tonight it was “you” meaning her. like she is the “you” you have always referred to. The one you will always refer to. I’m not crazy. I don’t think I can do this anymore. My space is not mine without you. What would my room look like if it was yours too? Let’s move in and get all unconventionally domestic. Let’s always come home to each other and be more excited about it everyday. Call me, damn it, or I swear to God. I will sit here and distract myself all night long. I will not sleep well. And I will tell you otherwise in the morning.